Nothing fancy, just the kind that you look forward to plopping down on after a long day at work for some TV time. But within this normal-looking couch is a family battleground. 

My mother in law insists that dogs don’t belong on furniture. I’m pretty sure snuggling with dogs is the whole reason couches were invented. 

Speaking of houseguests: the holidays are almost here, and the couch is about to host more than your dog. Our Ultimate Friendsgiving Guide will help you plan accordingly.

A Couch Built For Dogs

When she first brought it up to me, I thought she was joking. We have a black dog, so we bought a dark grey couch in a “performance velvet” (the furniture salesman said it like he was describing a high end sports car, but it actually does a pretty bang up job of staying clean).

I got blankets and throw pillow covers that are easily tossed in the wash before they ever get a chance to get that doggy smell. 

Everything about the couch was a decision based on the idea that there would absolutely be a dog on the couch at more or less all times. Looking around my home, I’m realizing exactly how much was chosen with the understanding that yes, there will be dogs. Washable rugs? Check. Washable jute rug for wiping off wet paws? Check.

My home office has an adjustable desk just so I can have a loveseat for my dog to hang out with me while I work. Is it the most ergonomically sound option? Definitely not. Would I change a thing? Also no!

Where She’s Coming From

Then again, I see where my mother in law is coming from. While she didn’t really grow up on a farm, she did grow up on a lot of acreage where dogs wading through swampy creeks, rolling in wild animal carcasses, and being smelly and filthy was the norm.

I can totally appreciate why these “outdoor dogs” wouldn’t be the best for couch cuddling. In her day, she opened the door in the morning and the dog came back when it was time for dinner. It blows her mind that my dog knows the word for “brunch.”

Believe me, I have tried explaining our differences. My dog is literally never outside without me. Once in awhile, she’ll go to doggy daycare and come back smelling like she carped the diem and rolled in dog pee before the staff cleaned it up, or we hit a beach and she scored herself a sneaky spa day back rub in some pungent seaweed before I pulled her off.

In those rare cases of grossness, I just… give her a bath? She’s ten pounds. She gives me some serious side-eye, but I’ll live. If my dog is even a little gross, she gets marched right upstairs to the bath. The couch and the bed are for reasonably clean dogs only. 

My mother in law says it doesn’t matter – it’s not just if the dog is clean or dirty, but the dog hair, dander, and oils that happen even with the cleanest of pets.

The Ick Factor

I have to admit something here: I do think I can kind of relate to where she’s coming from? Years ago, in my pre-dog life, I lived with a roommate with two cats. And as much as I love cats and all animals, watching them kick around their poop and immediately jump onto the kitchen counters did give me the ick.

I mean, sure, I’m never putting food directly onto a countertop, but I was grossed out enough to make sure stirring spoons, cutlery and knives never touched the countertops directly.

Is this the same ick-factor my mother-in-law is talking about?

I’m trying to look at it from her point of view. We all take off our shoes when we come inside, switching to house shoes. A few times a year, we’ll throw a party where we don’t ask guests to remove their shoes (I respect the power of a good stiletto and I’m not about to deny my guests the power of a show-stopping party entrance) and the floors are undeniably gross afterward, especially in the wet seasons.

Does that mean all the stuff that makes me blanch post-party is getting trotted up to the couch? Probably! My dog is a delicate flower who wipes her feet before she comes inside all on her own, but so do my houseguests. And as much as she doesn’t really shed for a dog… she still sheds. There’s a reason I rarely wear white shirts.

The Blanket Compromise

The solution came to me while dog-sitting for some friends of mine. Their pug mix is my little dog’s ride-or-die best friend and he’s practically got his own set of house keys at this point.

He’s a little sweetheart through and through, but this little guy sheds like it’s his job. I sweep up a whole second pug every time he leaves. I’m convinced the cure for baldness is hidden in pug DNA.

After enough times of trying to vacuum pug hair off the couch, it occurred to me – why don’t I just have special blankets when he’s here? Absolute game changer! Now I wrap the couch cushions in fitted sheets and lay soft, cozy faux fur blankets on top of them.

We still get our couch cuddles (c’mon, I am not about to give up on snuggling up to a movie listening to little puggy sleepy snorts) and when he leaves, I can throw them in the wash.

This was my eureka moment – the same way I have pug blankets to protect the couch from shedding, what if I have blankets to protect my mother-in-law from the couch?

I got a nice set of blankets that drape nicely over the sitting area, covering the seat and back of the couch. I got them in a light shade so she can see that there’s no dog hair. And to sweeten the deal for my little dog, I got a dog bed that I can put in the dryer before my mother-in-law comes over, making it a nice, toasty special treat for her.

The last time she came over, I mentioned the blankets for her. While she says that I shouldn’t have dogs on the couch, she seemed grateful to be able to visit without worrying about the dirt or hair. She said she’s just glad I don’t allow my dog on the bed. Whoops.

I will never be a no-dogs-on-furniture person, but I’ve at least figured out a way we can all co-exist… at least where the couch is concerned.