A person with 4 legs and fur. A full-fledged, opinionated member of the household.

You’ll find her on the front porch, Stanley-of-the-day in hand, talking to her dog like it’s her best girlfriend. If you’ve ever suspected this might be you, well, let’s just see….

1. Your dog’s nicknames have nicknames

Charlie becomes “Charlie Bear,” then just “Bear,” then “Baby Bear,” and so on. You know you do it!

2. You check the pavement with your hand before your dog walks on it

Think about the time you forgot your flip flops and had to traverse the parking lot in the middle of July…

3. Your dog has a designated seat in your car

And it’s not negotiable. Any passengers better take note.

4.You’ve canceled plans because “my dog’s under the weather”

Sick day. And you meant it. Fully.

5. You’ve said “we” when referring to your dog’s schedule

“We have a vet appointment.” “We don’t like thunderstorms.” “We are taking a nap.”

6. Your dog has seasonal accessories

Bandanas. A swim vest. A rain jacket that costs more than your own…and matching boots.

7. You’ve Googled “can dogs eat this?” more times than you’d like to admit

Blueberries? Yes. Grapes? Absolutely not. Random crumb on the floor? Vet-1-1

8. You narrate your dog’s thoughts in a Southern accent

“Mama, I believe I deserve another treat.” “Mommm! You’re not leaving me home again!?!”

9. Your camera roll is 90% dog

The other 10% is screenshots you meant to send someone.

10. You’ve rearranged furniture for “better dog flow”

Because the zoomies require space.

11. You keep a lint roller in your car, your purse, and your soul

Dog hair is not a problem. It is a lifestyle. Just ask Dyson.

12. You’ve had a full conversation about your dog with a stranger

Like on a daily basis. On a patio. In line. At the gas station. No names exchanged. Just dog details.

13. Your dog has opinions about your friends

And you trust those opinions.

14. You’ve planned a trip around whether your dog can come

Regular occurrence. If they’re not invited, you’re reconsidering the entire trip.

15. You’ve said, “They’re just excited,” while actively being dragged

Leash? Decorative at that point. “Please don’t jump on that sweet old lady that smells like bacon!”

16. Your dog has a better social life than you

Playdates. Park regulars. That one golden they’re “seeing.”

17. You KNOW the sound of your dog about to throw up

And you can wake up from a dead sleep because of it. Didn’t realize you were that fast did you?

18. You’ve cooked something specifically for your dog

Or Doordashed. Probably hit the Chick-fil-A drive through too…

19. Your dog gets talked to more than most people in your life

And frankly, better. Very few smart aleck retorts!

20. You’ve celebrated your dog’s birthday

With cake. Photos. Possibly guests.

21. You instinctively move your drink out of tail range

Because you’ve learned the hard way.

22. You’ve said “bless it” about your dog at least once this week

Usually after something mildly chaotic. He didn’t mean any harm when he chewed up that “Louie” you left hanging on the kitchen chair.

23. Your dog has a “look” and you know exactly what it means

No one else sees it. But you do. The eyes tell all.

24. You refer to yourself as “Mama”

And not ironically. You are.

25. You wouldn’t trade this life for anything

Not the hair. Not the early mornings. Not the muddy paws or the chewed-up things. Because at the end of the day, they’re not just your dog. They’re your heart, with a tail.

Final Verdict: Yep… That’s You

If you made it through this list nodding, laughing, or immediately thinking of someone to send it to, congratulations. You are, without question, a Southern Dog Mom. And around here, that’s about as good as it gets.

Beau Boyd is the Co-Founder and Managing Editor of Darling Dog. He lives in Selma, Alabama with his family and his beloved Goldie, Charlie.